Heavy Dreams

The year's first flakes
open my eyes to the beauty surrounding me;
the soft padding of paws
and shared warmth--
shields from the soft storm.

Crisp crunches outside
anticipate your arrival,
but every time I throw open my door
for a warm welcome
and quiet celebration,
I'm greeted by the hardest of silences,
empty hugs,
and the songs of whimsical dreams.

The happiness of the fantasy
weighs heavily on my conscious mind,
a nagging reminder of impossibility
and permanent unfulfilled desire.

While hope, need
desire, lust, and pain
converge in one stinging moment,
the gears continue their work,
metal teeth grinding, locking,
then snapping apart.

The tears of tomorrow's lost possibilities
purify present pain;
finally allow me to rest
and listen to the soft patter of paws
enveloped by smothering silence.